February 2012
47 posts
empty-flesh asked: Your ratties are ADORABLE!!!!!! <3
Anyone else get aching ribs for pretty much no reason? It’s weird :/
doingsomethingmajor:
“Your birth is a mistake you’ll spend your whole life trying to correct.” -Chuck Palahniuk
Whenever I’m at my Dad’s house I go look at pictures of rats on tumblr and miss my girls.
For some reason it just doesn’t feel right not having them running around or keeping a half closed sleepy eye on me from their hideaway.
I’m hoping over the Summer I’ll get them a bit more used to hanging around with me so we can sit in the garden and take rides around in my...
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Its funny watching my rats when they go back into a cleaned cage. Snuffles goes all domestic rearranging everything so its just right. But Bracken just gets into her hammock and falls asleep, leaving snuffs to do all the work.
Anonymous asked: how are those new meds going that you started?
Todays highlights…
Making my Mti worker sit through our meeting whilst Bracken bounced all over the sofa.
Bracken being brave and sitting outside with us for a while.
She also helped me talk to my housemate due to her overwhelming cuteness being the perfect talking point/distraction.
Seeing lisa. She is awesome sauce. And she said she would add something to my crisis plan about when...
Anonymous asked: Doesn't spending so much time alone make your depression worse?
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my younger sister has a new pet rat (i think im allowed to say that without upsetting anyone) and he is the cutest thing i have seen in ages! Just don’t let the girls know i said that.
he is currently under my sleeping bag, running up and down my trouser leg and nibbling on my feet.
i’ll try to get some pictures when he stays still for long enough. p.s. he’s called rum! and...
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Why do i sometimes find it so hard to be on my own. Its like i need to plan my time to keep myself entertained instead. My therapist said i should go buy myself some daffodils today. And i need to get some rat food so i suppose i could waste time drooling over pets i wish i could get.
Had a socially awkward penguin / sexual innuendo moment today talking to my neighbour. Trying to explain that im a middle sister so i get on with people who are older and younger than me. Instead it came out as, ‘im a middle sister so you know i go both ways’
Fuck me :/
Odd conversations with my Mti workers recently. Yesterday she wanted to play with my rats (who then fell asleep under my arm) and she told me about how they used to have a pet magpie. Then today he shows me an mri of his dogs brain.
Yeah, at least its not all mental health.
Whitney is only 19? Wtf?
When the guy at the local shop says you always look so sad, why is that?
Oh, im just tired.
Totes just ate a tin of sweetcorn.
Anonymous asked: i didn't know u got high
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pupils are huge..
Had i mega crying sesh with lisa today. Poor girl only wanted to book an appointment with me.
Having such a bpd week. Now i shall get drunk with a rather nice black tower pinot grigio.
At least i have therapy tomorrow and thats either going to fix me or completely break me.
Stupidly triggered. Hoping i can get to sleep before the zopis make me reckless. I wish i could calm myself down. Heart feels like its pumping twice as hard.
Actually, properly cleaning my room. Strange i know. Although it feels a bit like wrist cutters a love story, making every look perfect, as though this means ill fuck up.
Been staying with my dad for a night and a bit so my girls were so pleased to see me when i got back. They’re so cute.
I full on broke down on friday. My housemate was in his locked bedroom, groaning when Mti came over....
been feeling so zonked out today. not sure if its from too much zopi or the new meds. but its been a good day :)
Anonymous asked: not many things like this have simple solutions.
‘I think Lisa and I recognise that your difficulties are profound with no simple solution’
Well thats good to know.
“The nutritionist said I should eat root vegetables.
Said if I could get down...”
– The Madness Vase, Andrea Gibson (via salubriousextrications)
Eep, the noisy housemate is downstairs with two of the housing workers. And this morning i happened to mention that they were being rowdy until midnight last night. I doubt it will make much difference but maybe that will shut them up for a while.
Is it bad that im only holding on through this weekend because my older sister said she’d be up to stay and take me out for coffee and rattie treats on monday? Im a mess right now. And my therapist is on leave this week. But i dont want to ask anyone for help because that just makes me look pathetic, plus i smell bad from spending days in bed without showering. :/
Thinking about it, it wasnt all that bad i guess. Probably just normal reckless antics everyone my age gets up to. Well minus the meds and stuff.
So bored today. I should probably stay at my dads since i cant look after myself.
Feeling sorry for myself. Thinking it would be nice to have a friend. Ugh, someone come give me a hug and cheer me up?
Hmm, which is worse? Drinking half a bottle of gin taking a few sleeping pills and waking up the next day with no memory of the evening but faced with clear evidence that at some point you fell over into your desk/tv. Or is it worse to go out to the shop at 1am after haven taken 3 sleeping pills then coming back to drink until falling asleep? Although at least i didnt sh the time i went walkies...
Anonymous asked: What level of depression have you been diagnosed with? There is hope for you <3
Confused. Grumpy, mostly silent and crying when michelle was here this morning. So she didnt hang around for long. Text my therapist a pathetically self hating slash pitying message. She phoned me after sending it but it was that awkward silent call when you say hello but cant hear anything. She hasnt phoned or txt since so I dont know what to think.
Id call michelle but it would be just like...
For some reason my laptop randomly stopped charging so im kinda screwed. Drinking gnt and feeling pissed off with everything. Ugh.
so in the end i didnt get pizza or gin. that would require social interaction.
i fail.
Way more pleased to have found my ID than I should be. And very tempted to go down to Lidl for a bottle of gin.
Dominos this evening?
I’m in a reckless BPD mood so it could be fun.
January 2012
101 posts
Therapy is exhausting. People are confusing. Everything is too complicated.