December 2010
You make it all okay <3
287) I'm losing myself. And you can't save me. I...
How to spend my New Years Eve.. any suggestions? Watch a film? TV? Sat here on Tumblr?
Get more drunk?
PS. I am forever alone. :(
I'm not really looking forward to 2011 at all.
<insert numerous expletives here>
ironically the only thing i’m looking forward to right now is breaking down at therapy tomorrow with the hope that somehow, someone might be able to fix me.
Children growing up in a dysfunctional family have been known to adopt one or more of these six basic roles:
The Good Child (also known as the Hero): a child who assumes the parental role.
The Problem Child (also known as the Scapegoat): the child who is blamed for most problems and may be partly responsible for the family’s dysfunction, in spite of often being the only emotionally...
And they’re back, drunk, at 11:30pm. I bet he doesn’t even check to see if I’m okay.
I feel invisible. The lost child.
suicideinfatuation asked: I can relate to almost everything that youve written so much!!!! :( i want to give you a hug so bad and just let you cry and cry. I hope that doesn't sound wierd. I hope you stay safe!! xxx
You know what hurts most? The seconds in the...
I find it sad that this has so many notes :(
suicideinfatuation asked: I can relate to almost everything that youve written so much!!!! :( i want to give you a hug so bad and just let you cry and cry. I hope that doesn't sound wierd. I hope you stay safe!! xxx
Just watched the part in In Treatment when Kate is helping Sophie get changed back into her clothes… and Sophie hugs her. So many times in therapy etc when I all I really wanted was a hug and someone to tell me it would be okay. I end up thinking, you’re being so understanding, so kind, actually listening to me, but you’re still so far away.. I just want to cry on someones...
My eyes feel sore from crying :(
I want to give up.
So often recently, I seem to get to a point late in the day when I realise that I haven’t eaten anything.
Ah well.
khadejawilliams:
I question my existence a lot.
Every single day.
I wish I could stop feeling so angry with everyone.
“Some people turn sad awfully young. No special reason, it seems, but they seem...”
– Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury (via thechocolatebrigade)
Anonymous asked: how many people do you follow ?
Anonymous asked: how many people do you follow ?
… and it’s all my fault
cross the line if you spent a half an hour taking...
sadly true.
Im fine. I’m just fanfuckingtastic. That’s what everyone wants to hear right?
Saw my GP this morning. Didn’t want to go, but it would be way more hassle dealing with the consequences of not going than just dealing with it. I think I always end up seeing her for twenty minutes instead of the ten I’m supposed to have. Makes me feel bad that I make other people have to wait...
“Last night, I thought that if I cut deep enough, I might be able to see all the...”
– Jodi Picoult- Second Glance (via noneofyourscars)
acheshirecat:
I have received a few messages lately about people fearing the looming 1st of January 2011 and there are a few things I wanted to say.
I, am without a doubt, absolutely and utterly terrified of it’s arrival. I think it’s a pretty common thing for those suffering with mental illness.
I do appreciate people trying to fill me with optimism, and I wish it was easier to take the...
swellerific:
My dad just left for the cabin and these are his words,
“Now I’m trusting you, leaving you alone for the night, so don’t go sitting in your room tonight cutting yourself.”
Gee thanks dad. I love how nice you are.
wow, this sounds familiar.. but just try to enjoy yourself without the hassle of having people around :)
You can’t hide from the Home Treatment team. They’ll find you.. they know where you live. And they’ll rock up at your house when you think you’re safe for the day, like just now.
The Cheshire Cat: Borderline Personality Disorder →
acheshirecat:
Talking to a few also diagnosed “Borderlines” I have noticed a trend of hospitals turning sufferers away.
I was reading the book “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me” which is written all about Borderline Personality Disorder and throughout it it is constantly said that borderlines threaten suicide…
It makes me so angry that people would be turned away from the help they...
1 tag
Can’t find my meds. Already feeling woozy.
panicpanicpanicpanicpanicpanic
edit: dad had ‘tidied’ them away into a drawer.. along with the christmas present I got for my younger sister :/
Who was it that decided that going to a garden centre counts as a day out? My sister has gone with my aunt and cousin’s wife.. and I really don’t get it. Maybe it’s just because old people creep me out and that place is full of them sitting around with cups of tea. I mean they don’t even go because it’s a garden centre, they go because they want a drink and a sticky...
annoyed
at the idiot who thought it would be a good idea to call me from a withheld number at 7:22 this morning. I mean.. wtf? I’m sleeping, GO AWAY!
be-the-beauty-to-my-beast asked: You reblogged that "I need a fag" post, and my first thought was (since we don't call them fags in America :P) that you wanted a gay man. I was like "Well, I'm sure he'd be fun to shop with, but- ohhhhh, cigarettes."
My plan is to watch In Treatment until I’m too tired to SH. Mentally I don’t feel a great need to but it’s like my arm is crying out for it.
I wish I had a greater motivation to stop. I know I could if I wanted to.. but it’s like there’s no point in trying anymore.
you know that feeling when, you're in so much pain...
emergencyroomromantic:
submission.
this. exactly this.
Bad mood. Fuck it.
Just this once is what we tell ourselves.
3 tags
Ships don’t sink if they have wind in their sails. But if the wind fails, is there hope for me? (I guess your love…) I thought your love was safe. The promise you made…(wasn’t so safe, the promise you made…) Now I am drowning in your shallow sea; I swim. (you are the storm, the wind and the waves. you break me in two and toss me away) You are the waves that toss me...
So empty. So pointless. Why the hell am I still here?
Sigh.. Going to watch the In Treatment DVDs I got for xmas.
emergencyroomromantic:
I’ve got this really heavy feeling in my chest. it’s like my heart is beating too fast for my body and i just want to cry all night. It’s how my urges start. My arms are so scared, i can’t cut over them because they just don’t work. I’m so alone. and i’m not getting better. because I don’t want too.
submission.
the pain we feel is nothing new.: The 15 minute... →
emergencyroomromantic:
When the urge to self injure comes upon you, check the time, and tell yourself that you have felt the urge, but you are going to choose to hold off on any self harming behaviour for 15 minutes; if after this period of 15 minutes, you still feel like self injuring, then you can.
For the duration…
rcillustration asked: Merry Christmas. Hope you had a good day x x