January 2011
I should just stay away from people. No matter what I do someone gets hurt.
Pretending that everything is okay never really works. I’m still empty inside.
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the internet loves cats
Anonymous asked: when do you know that you've cut so deep that you need stiches?
Group therapy tomorrow is going to be sooo hard. Just thinking about her leaving sends me into a crying mess. And tomorrow i’ll be there with her, and the other people she’s leaving, stuck in a room together..
I don’t think i’ll get through it without crying my eyes out.
I wonder how the other people are coping or if it’s just me so badly effected. I don’t...
my face right now —-> :D
Anonymous asked: Why do you want to know who I am? I'm not sure whether you were being sarcastic when you said it would be a good message to wake up to?
I don't know what to do with these feelings.
I don't know what to do with these feelings.
Whenever people call me in the morning they assume that I was sleeping. I don’t really want to go back to sleep thanks, I’ve been awake since 7am :/
The words you wrote, screwed up in a ball on my floor. That’s all they are. Words on paper, empty promises and heartbreaking lies.
“You are here today. You are alive right now. That is an accomplishment in...”
– My psychologist the week after my suicide attempt. She really is an amazing woman. (via it-couldbeyou)
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When I was at the hospital the doctor wanted to talk to me. He asked me about my diagnosis.. when I told him about depression and BPD he looked at me, shook his head and patted me on the back.
I think it’s the first time I’ve felt like someone was feeling sorry for me having BPD. In one way it’s good to know that another person can see how bad it is.. but depressing the way he...
Anonymous asked: I would seriously contemplate turning gay for you :)
“The fear of an unknown never resolves, because the unknown expands infinitely...”
– Skin Game - Caroline Kettlewell (via skinnythinobsession)
Glad to be home. I love my family.. but it’s good to have some space of my own for a while.
I missed my bed. It’s strange like that, you might sleep in some huge comfy king size for a couple of days but it doesn’t come close to the security of your own bed.
Seeing MTI tomorrow probably. Should be fun. Group therapy on Tuesday will be awkward.. seeing Louise after everything...
“Your failing words once moved heaven and earth
But now they can’t make me...”
– Emery “Cutthroat Collapse”
“Marked by hands I held as my anchor
But in your shallow sea I drown”
(via annabee303)
“But your head is elsewhere,
and I’m talking enough for both of us.
When will...”
– Emery “The Ponytail Parades” (via annabee303)
“I decided, long ago never let your loved ones know
who you really are
who you...”
– After the Devil Beats his Wife, Emery (via lizzylovesraine)
When did you become the one without regret? Kill...
And though my heart is breaking open, know that I...
You,
I’m glad you’re okay! It sounds hard right now but you have a lot of people here who care about you and want the best. I’m here if you need anything at all.
You can get through this. Maybe this could help.. in the long term? I’m sure your parents will want to do everything they can to help. Try not to feel bad about it, it’s their job to look after you. People...
I am so stuffed.
*explodes*
Tonight is great. I like tonight :)
Pizza time! I’m so hungry, this is going to be sweeet. And I’m going home tonight! Haha, this is awesome :)
Holy Fuck
odbery:
It’s my 3rd day without effexor. I described how I felt to my boyfriend and he said, “Oh, that’s EXACTLY what it feels like to be on a low dose of acid.” What. The. Fuck. Withdrawal from an anti-depressent should not be this bad.
And Her Last Words Were...: Old Habits Die Hard →
andherlastwords:
I hate how quickly I become so intensely attached to people. It’s like there’s no such thing as me just kinda liking someone, or just enjoying their company. When I’m attracted to a person (and I don’t mean sexually, I just mean I’m drawn to their personality, demeanor, etc.), I’m either very…
I relate to every word of this.
My dad says he’s not letting me go home :/
I miss my house, my own space.. and having a smoke whenever I like. Oh well, my own fault I guess.
When I woke up this morning my heart sank as I realised I had to get through another day of this.
emergencyroomromantic:
i think too many people ignore the fact that self-harm is often a symptom of something greater, and you have to realise that if it is, you often need to work at overcoming or controlling the major problem before you can really consider leaving self-harm behind for good. of course you are going to continue relapsing if what led you to self-harm in the first place is still...
It’s funny how certain people think the other night was all because of event ‘A’ when really it was mostly because of event ‘B’. It’s just unfortunate they both happened on the same day. Just shows some people don’t really know me at all. And I’m done talking about this now. The end.
But anyways.. like I said, I’m fine. Going to play me some...
How am I? I’m fine..
that’s a lie.
Truth is, nothing matters anymore. I don’t care what happens to me, or you, or anyone.
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fuck off.
Who would've known it'd be so easy to get replaced...
My Dad and sister won’t let me be on my own.. I feel so shitty. This whole crying all day thing is exhausting, especially when you can’t get any sleep.
Just feeling.. too much. Like there are too many emotions to even break up into thoughts. It just hurts like fucking hell.
And I just want to destroy myself.
My sister is a nurse.. she’s pissed off they didn’t give me stiches, says I needed them :/ This scar is going to be fucking massive. I feel sick. Sometimes I don’t know who I am or what I’m doing, then suddenly find myself going completely crazy and have no control over myself.
Eh, at least I have a few days prescription of diazepam to enjoy.
Expect the mental health...
suicideinfatuation and theheroyouhate, i love you guys so much right now <3
Last night was interesting. Ended up in A&E at one in the morning. They covered my arm in steristrips even though I think it probably needed stitches.
And ambulances aren’t as exciting as you’d think they are.
Great :/
Phone for help and they go totally over the top. Do not want.
cut the pain away.